While PIPL are definitely the friendliest and most curious of all the shorebirds, they can also be pretty aggressive little buggers when circumstances call for it. Like when you try to mess with their stuff. Their classic line of defense is the “Broken Wing Display” during which a PIPL will feign a broken wing, grabbing your attention, distracting you, and slowly leading you away from their treasures. Please don’t say “Oh, just like Killdeer.” Killdeer are like the cheap, knock-off version of Piping Plover. (But feel free to say “Oh, just like Piping Plover!!” when you first learn of the Killdeer’s Broken Wing Display!)
So what might Smalls have to protect? Apparently, Mr. Smalls has a Mercedes.
No, not the car. Most people know that Smalls rides a tiny Moped, and often leaves LBI to tear up the beaches of Island Beach State Park whenever he needs a little “Mr. Smalls’ Time,” or just feels like showing off.
It appears that, against all odds, Smalls has actually found a girl who was willing to stay with him for more than just one night. Time to call in the big guns and see what’s going on here.
So what type of woman could possibly love a thug like Smalls? Apparently, a young one.
That Smalls would love to have a young, impressionable, and gorgeous young PIPL like Mercedes at his side needs no explanation. Add to that the fact that Smalls has always claimed to be searching for “a classy broad,” so we can be sure he spit out his werm when she first told him her name, “Mercedes.”
But what could Mercedes possibly see in a tiny thug like Smalls? That will remain a rhetorical question for now because the science shows us Mercedes is too young to know the true answer.
These are sure signs that Mercedes is a very young “second year” female, meaning she was born just last summer, and has come back early to get a taste for the world. After the first year, Piping Plover molt, replacing their feathers quite frequently so you won’t see this kind of wear-n-tear. After the first year, it becomes much more difficult to age a Piping Plover. But this seems conclusive: Mercedes is just a babe.
And her band combo? What could be more fitting for a young, rebellious, party girl setting out early to experience the world: B (Blue), Y (Yellow), O (Orange), Blue (B).
Welcome to LBI Mercedes. Things just keep getting stranger.